Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

NASA Might Have Accidentally Landed Near A Volcano On Mars - IFLScience

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

My mother has stage 4 ovarian cancer, and her oncologist proposed her six rounds of chemotherapy and 17 cycles of Avastin. What is your experience?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I can read

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

How do I stop my 12-year-old daughter from crying herself to sleep? I have punished her and she still does it.

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Milky Way galaxy might not collide with Andromeda after all - Ars Technica

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Apple issues urgent warning to all 1.8 billion iPhone users - ladbible.com

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have complete contempt for fakery

Here's What Happens to Your Blood Pressure When You Eat Blueberries Every Day - AOL.com

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Flight deal experts spot a surprise upcharge: Flying solo - The Washington Post

I see through liars

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Why do some people believe that Homelander would be no match for Superman or Thor?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

How do we greet in German, French, Spanish, and Italian?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

What were some of the unforgettable incidents from your school life?

I actually pay taxes

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

New Report Ranks 3 New Jersey Towns Among Kindest In America - 92.7 WOBM

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I have a reading level above third grade

I understand how hurricane paths work

Why do you think Islam oppresses women when Christianity clearly does it more?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

The Number of Retirees Filing for Social Security Is Surging Under President Donald Trump -- and It's an Ominous Warning - The Motley Fool

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I can count

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Is visiting holy shrines (dargahs) or graves haraam in Islam?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Treasury yields slide as ADP payrolls fall to lowest in more than two years - CNBC

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t